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The Best Self-Care Skill I Learned

By Andrea Kartika Deierlein

September 1, 2020

We all know self-care is good for us. A necessity, not a luxury. Especially these days.

But why is practicing self-care so hard?

Audre Lorde wrote in A Burst of Light: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”

ASKING FOR HELP is the best self-care skill I learned.

It’s not a skill that comes naturally - thanks to these Support Saboteurs:

  • The need to present, to keep up the 
  • I-am-fine,  I-have-my-act-together image.
  • The belief that asking for help and support is a burden for others.
  • The fear to appear weak, incompetent or unattractive and to be rejected.
  • The desire to be fixed, healed instantly, not admitting that this is a process and takes time.
  • The belief that just to vent is enough and doesn’t require any other action.

When Reiki came into my life in 2015, I learned to be kinder to myself. I kicked the perfectionist drill sergeant who’d been shouting in my head for over 30 years to the curb. Slowly, I learned to listen to MYSELF.

  • We practice self-care when we are appreciating our strengths and our weaknesses.
  • When we identify our fears and have the courage to look them in the eye.
  • When we let go of the stumbles, forgive our mistakes, and celebrate our achievements.

When I was smiling from the NASDAQ building on September 1, 2009, and worked 15-hour-days, I was "too busy" for self-care. I was in my early 30s. My body forgave me. Until anxiety took over. I developed a chronically inflamed esophagus, grinded my teeth to the point of breaking, made cups of coffee at 4:00 a.m. Now I only see my doctors for annual check-ups.

Don’t be at war with yourself. Don’t stay in the battle zone alone.

Remember: PEACE IS AN ACHIEVEMENT.

Message me here to see how I can help you in the next weeks, months, or even years. (Yes, some of my clients and I have been traveling on this journey called LIFE together for years).